• Your wife comes into the room naked and asks if there is anything you want ironing, you hand her your latest completed airframe and return to the modeling board.
• You return home from a days flying with your model in bits, your wife howls wreaked another model have you darling, you reply NO it was a young lads at the club and I felt sorry for him so I said I would repair it for him.
• You build smaller models so that you can sneak them out to the car.
• Your wife is blow drying her hair, you see a power plant for an electric ducted fan model.
• Wife asks do you like her new stockings, you think great, that will filter my paint.
• You use wife's make-up to decorate your new pilot.

Thanks to Paul B.for these new addtions!

• You hold the plane between your legs to clear the engine for take-off, but tumbled on the elevator as you stepped back (SKC)
• You have ever glued both hands together with CA and had to use an Exacto knife in your teeth to cut them apart.
• You have taken your plane off and panic on the third circuit, when you realise that you haven't extended the transmitter aerial.
• You have built two right wings for a single wing plane.
• You will go flying when it's 30c but won't cut the grass for your wife `cause "it's too hot out there".
• You have grass stains on the knees of your favorite trousers.
• You wear goggles and a silk scarf around your neck driving to the field
• You plan your holidays using Fly-In schedules.
• You have used an old elevator pushrod to scratch your back.
• You shop Toy-R-Us for pilots.
• You can cover a prize-winning plane with Solafilm but can't iron your shirts.
• Your latest plane costed more than your wife's dish washer.
• You introduce your wife as your co-pilot.

• You get to the field and realise your transmitter is still on charge at home.
• You lean over your newly-finished plane to brush off a spec of dust and drop a screwdriver out of your shirt pocket that rips through the Solarfilm covered wing .
• You are making an inverted low pass and then pull "UP" on the elevator.
• You have fuel stains on your new trainers.
• Your O.S. engine purrs like a kitten but the family car will barely run.
• You see your wife ironing while wearing a thin nighty and it reminds you of the SolarTex job you need to finish.
• Your wife wants to buy a new car and the only thing you are concerned with is `will the back seats remove easily'.
• You have balsa dust on top of your living room furniture.
• You keep feeling for the trim tabs on your TV remote control.
• You have at least three planes in various stages of completion.
• The neighbour's kids come to you to help them with their school projects.
• Your kids borrow rubber bands from you.
• You think R/C flying should be an Olympic event.
• You have watched TOP GUN and IRON EAGLES more than ten times.
• You look for the servo linkage and antenna wire on every airplane in a movie.
• You have at least ten T-shirts with airplanes on them.
• You watch "Wings" on The Discovery Channel at least three times a week.
• You have ever taken your plane off with the ailerons backbacks and still landed it safely.

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• On the way home from the model shop you spend ages peeling the price stickers off your new goodies just in case the wife sees them.
• You don't have joint accounts so she will not see the statements.
• I won it in a competition dear !
• I swapped it for that green plane dear........ (the one you wrote off last weekend)
• You don't tell her you had a bonus, its hidden inside the cowling
• Thanks to Trevor Wootton (who's done them all)

More next month!